Jason (Dan)

I met him on OKC. His screen name is Jason. But he later told me his name is Dan and Jason is his middle name. (This seems to be a common occurance?) We chatted online for months. Seriously, 3 months. Sometimes we would email once a day. And sometimes we wouldn't email for several days or a week. But we have been talking for a long time. I can't tell you much about him though.

He lost his wife and baby girl in a drunk driving accident years ago. That accident left him with some physical problems of his own. He works from home and doesn't drive. I have no idea about the rest of his fmaily. Parents? Siblings? all of that I don't know anything about. Most of our chats were about politics. The election. And his negative view about Republicans.

Most of the time during our emails I was trying to figure out where he was coming from and where he was going. His writing skips around A LOT. Most the the emails are a sort of jumbled mess. And I hung in for so long because I was just trying to figure him out. I was also wondering what he would be like to talk in person. Would he still be so disjointed?? I never made it that far. We did exchange numbers but still only texted. His texts were just as bad and just as random. Here are a few examples:


Ex. 1) I am not quite sure why I skipped from religion to sex. I am tired of the assumption (though sadly true for majority of guys looking to hook up) I thought I had reached an age where sex wasnt my assumed sole motive, yet I still have to defend that and I guess I got tired of this assumption. I am offended by the Republican party and the recent definition of rape. What I don't understand is how Republican women can support this party. Since 2010 swing to republicans, several hundred new abortion laws were introduced at state level. In Arizona, you are pregnant two Weeks before sex. personhood scares me.Romney's sons would be guilty under this law. They used invitro and surrogates to give him grandchildren. The unused fertilized eggs are destroyed and under personhood, that is murder. The right wants to protect a zygote, but after he/she is, born, no health care and cut education and then send them to fabricated wars like Iraq. I have never seen a campaign that lies so blatantly, like we didn't build it,medicare cuts that affect providers, not beneficiaries. My mother is on medicare and if republicans win, she will lose the donut hole in, prescription coverage and free preventative visits. I am upset that men don't seem bothered by taking a woman's right to choose with their bodies. Republicans want government out of their lives, but it is ok for forced vaginal ultrasounds and government control of a women's body is totally different

Ex 2) I am down a slimmest possibility meeting tomorrow, but if the stars align and you don't have the kids, is there is a small possibility that we may be able to meet somewhere? I am NOT necessarily asking you out tomorrow night but I am asking if the stars aligned, I may ask you if it is possible. I give it a 20 perent chance of everything coming together. My feelings will not be hurt if the answer was no. I am so ask if the answer is yes that with the 80 percent chance of no that you feel the same way if I can't go


Besides the ramblings he had some other issues that I couldn't reconcile. He wasn't very confident. Seemed to need approval on an almost contsant basis. Which was totally contrary to his online profile where he rated himself as better and smarter than most people. (No he didn't say it like that sounding all concieted - it was in some OKC questions) I was growing tired of reassuring him in nearly every email that what he said wasn't hurting my feeling or scaring me off in anyway.

He also was still on pain killers. He alluded that his accident was a decade ago. I don't know for sure cuz it wasn't something we talked about a lot. But I know it was some time ago and it bothered me that he was still so dependent on narcotics. Now, I know nothing abut his pain. But it just seems to me that you don't want to be taking those long term. And because he is taking narcotics on a regular basis he doesn't drive. Can't drive. Which was a lot of pressure on me since he lives on the opposit side of the city. A good hour drive from me.

In the end I just couldn't follow his thinking. Our conversations progressed off of politics and into a more sexual nature and even then it was so hard to follow. His last texts from this past weekend were so random (at 530am) I just didn't even know how to answer him. So I didn't. And he immediatly said he wouldn't contact me again. And that was that.

Christian (not Grey)

Christian found me on OK Cupid. We chatted online briefly and it wasn't long before he was asking me to meet him. He gave me the name of the bar he hangs out at regularly. I agreed to meet up with him for a couple hours but had plans that night and couldn't stay long.

I got to the bar a little later than I had wanted to and looked for Christian. He saw me and rescued me from standing at the door looking like an idiot. He was Big! Like over 6 foot big. and huskey. He led me out of the dim bar and out to the patio where he ordered a beer for me. We sat and chatted for a while. While chatting he told me he is a recovering overeater and alcholic. Which I was surprised at since he has a bar he is at almost daily. Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. But to each his own I suppose.

He said he had lost his wife in 9/11 and turned to drinking and eating. He turned his son over to his sister to care for and lost himself for a while. He is now sober but his sister still has his kid. His kid has asperbergers and recently stabbed someone with a spork. Yes, spork. It was a lot to absorb in that short amount of time with just meeting someone. I left in a sort of state of shock.

That night while drinking with my friends he texted me. I told him I was well on my way to getting drunk and that the boob pics should be flying soon. At which point he decided I needed to have a sexy pic of him. o.O I feel bad about this; I plead drunkin insanity. Not one of my most considerate moments. But when i received that pic my friend and I almost died. We were laughing so hard. It was hard not to. The "sexy" pic he sent looked almost dead ringer like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. And now I am going to hell.

Needless to say I didn't text him again after that night. Call me a bitch. Tell me it was rude. But I just didn't know what to say to the poor guy. There was so much wrong with this trainwreck. And so I just left it alone. And that was that.

Charlie the Trainer

Charlie was yet another guy I met on CL. He is a personal trainer and I was able to talk to him about my workouts and my plateau. We talked and chatted quite a bit and I "liked" his training page on Facebook. He found me on his page and added me as a friend to his personal page. We talked on the phone and eventually made plans for a date.

We met at Red Lobster for dinner and I was surprised by the look he gave me when we first met. I didn't seem to be the person he had in mind. But we still had dinner over which we talked about his training more. His goals for a gym. And my workout routeins. The conversation wasn't flowing easily at all. But after dinner he suggested we head somewhere and do some walking. Off to the mall we went.

We lapped that mall a few times, only stopping in the candy store where he bought a bunch of sugary treats for his nieces. Most of our walking was done in silence with random bits of conversation here and there. At one point when I was trying to lead the conversation somewhere I asked him what he liked to do other than working out. His answer was: Nothing. He said life is all about eating sleeping and training. And that was when I knew it was over. I can talk about working out and training for a while. And I enjoy the conversation. But there is more in my life that just that.

Charlie still hangs around. He is still a FB friend and comments on my stuff every now and then. Also, every couple weeks I will get a text from him. Checking in on how I am doing. How my training is going and if I have gotten off my plateau yet. I don't know if Charlie will ever be gone.

Arturo and Caterina

Arturo!!! Caterina!!! His name always takes me back to the story in Overboard. :)

Arturo is another guy I met off CL. He is one of the very few that was seeking something more than sex. We chatted via email for a while. After me telling about his name making me think of Overboard he started calling me Caterina. Our emails progressed and soon we were texting and talking on the phone. I pretty much knew from our phone conversations that this wouldn't go anywhere.

I wasn't really intrested in the conversations we would have. I would be waiting for the call to be over. Also, he had a bad habit of telling me what to do with my kids, how to care for them. How to raise them. When I found out he has only 1 child and that kid was only 14 months old it was more than just annoying. But I decided it couldn't hurt to go out with him. Maybe see if we could connect. We met up for coffee and ice cream. Then left from there to go to dinner and a movie.

The coffee and ice cream was ok. We chatted but I still wasn't feeling a connection. Then we went to a movie and that was where it got awkward. We decided to see Hope Springs. Which, in case you don't know, is with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones as they try to rekindle their marriage. Everytime they would get slightly "passonate" Arturo would start to rub my arm. I don't know about you but I find NOTHING sexy about two older actors awkwardly try to kiss and have sex.

It only got more awkward over diner when Arturo was telling me about a friend of his that is a bodybuilder. The way he described his awe over is body was... intresting. He told me he will ask his friend to send him shirtless pics and when he sees this friend will ask to touch his abs. Yes, we moved more and more into an awkward territory and I knew this was not going to happen.

I said goodbye to Arturo and Caterina was lost at sea. That was that.

Yumm Yumm Kevin

Oh so yummy Kevin. I am not really looking to have a purely sexual relationship with someone. But if I was going to, it would be Kevin. He is HOT! At least, I thnk so. ;)

Back to Craigslist. I met Kevin while on there. What started out innocent enough eventually turned a little more... illicit. We talked about sex quite a lot. And he inspired me to start my collection. Let me explain.

It seems people on CL are really only looking for one thing. It doesn't matter if you post in "strictly platonic" or "casual encounters". Almost every guy on there is pretty much there to hook up. Some guys will start out chatty before heading in that direction. And somepoeple just cut to the chase. I have had so many dirty emails, right off the bat. And MANY guys are not shy about sharing pics. They LOVE sending pics. I have even had pics sent to me on the first contact. So I decided I shoudl start a collection. And so the dick pic files began. I have big ones and little ones. Curved ones and strait ones. I know it sounds totally immature to keep these. And I don't know why I do. But it is hilarious and I just can't help myself.

Back to Kevin. I have quite a few pics of him. Some with clothes. Some without. All of them very sexy. I have had fun talking to him but I know it will go nowhere. Still, it was fun!

Joesph the Firebug

Joseph. He was quite an intresting person. He is a fire spinner. Don't worry, I had no idea what that menat either. Youtube it. It is pretty cool. We chatted for a while (c/o Ok Cupid now). He was an educated and itersting person. He had been places and done things. Even lived overseas for a while.

I loved chatting with him. He was one of the rare few who could hold an email chat. I love getting longer letters and he was capable of this lost art. And, like I said, he was a truely intresting person. After emailing for a few weeks we decided to meet. Just start with coffee and go from there.

And we did. We met for coffee at a local mall. What we didn't relize was the coffee shop was closing 30 minutes after we met. So we left there and walked. And we walked. And kept walking. We must have lapped that mall at least a dozen times. Takeing different routes or following old paths. He was a tlker and he just talked the whole time. I said very little. I didn't mind. He was so intresting to listen to. After walking for a couple hours I was dying for some water so we stopped in at California Pizza Kitchen and grabbed a salad and drinks. And after a nice meal we left and walked some more.

Soon it was getting really late and he walked me to my car. He gave me a great hug and said goodnight and he would be in touch. I was a little bummed. I would have kissed him. I went home and waited to hear form him.

All my friends told me it was in his court to write. But I just didn't feel right leaving things that way. I felt I had to say thank you again for the great night. So a couple days later I sent him an email thanking him. And the next day I head back. Just a brief message saying he had been busy with work. I responded. And then never heard from him again. Maybe it wasn't such a great night? And that was that.

Are you a sex offender?

I wish I could remember his name. Unfortunately it alludes me. I met him on CL as well. We emailed for a while. And then we texted. And even had a few phone calls. He was nice. A little younger than me but seemed like a decent person.

After chatting for a while we decided to meet. We made plans to meet up for my lunch break. This was going to be it, my first post divorce date. I was nervous about what to wear. I picked my outfit and prepared. The night before we were supposed to meet we were chatting on the phone. He told e he had to tell me something that MAY be a deal breaker for me. And then he laid it on me. He is a registered sex offender.

OK, sometimes people have to register for stupid things. Maybe he ran through the street naked on a dare? Maybe he was peeing in public? Maybe.... ??? It turns out he was charged with Statitory Rape. He was 24 and she was 15. Ouch! Not only that, but he did 3 years in prison for this charge. DOUBLE OUCH!

I didn't cancle the date right away. I kept it and thought about it overnight. But I knew almost as soon as he told me this WAS a dealbreaker. The next day I met him for lunch. I told him that unfortunately it wouldnt' work out. I couldn't put myself, and more importantly my kids, in that situation. And that was the end of that.

Ryan or is it Steve?

I met Ryan/Steve on Craigslist. This was actually before I even started dieting and dating. It was even beofre the divorce was final. But I feel I should tell you about him since he did play a roll in where I am at. Last summer I was feeling lonely and so I posted on CL in the "strictly platonic" section (more on THAT later). I said I was a divorceing mother of 2 who was looking for a pen pal. That's right. No meeting, just chatting online. I got a flood of responses but really only chatted with a few of them. Ryan (Steve?) was one of them.

His email said Ryan (and had a last name that I can't remember). But in his email he said his name was Steve. Well, this was a little suspicious and was the cause of a few of our debates. But he was nice and I looked forward to his emails. I still to this day don't know if what he wrote to me was true or not. As is the trouble with online relationships. But I enjoyed out chats.

Even though I enjoyed our chats we had some issues. Call it trust issues if you want. He said he was a business travelor. At one point he was emailing me from Paris. I never knew if all of this was true and I have to say I was skeptical. He liked swimming. He liked reading. He wanted to help me with my weight loss goals; even had me start a blog with goals. And more than anything he wanted to meet.

Remember when I said I posted looking fro pen pals? Apparently he didn't. He pushed and pushed and finally when he realized I wasn't in a place to meet up with him he left. He didn't want ot chat anymore. He didn't want to just be a pen pal. And that was that. Ryan/Steve was gone.

Divorced and Dating

Scary words to start with. I filed for divorce last year in March. After a somewhat messy and yet still quick legal preceedings the divorce was final in September. Just 6 months and I was free. And I was able to take a good look at myself. I didn't like what I saw. What I had become. But this blog isn't about me working my ass off to be better. I have another blag for that. But I wanted tat reference so you know I have been working hard to be better and look better so I feel more comfortable entering the jungle of dating. And what a scary jungle it is.

At the beginning of this year I started working out and losing weight. About 4 months in I decided, why not? I will try my hand at dating. So I went to the worst place for dating a person could go. I went to Craigslist. EEK!! I know what you are thinking. WHY?!?!?! Well, it was free and I was comfortable with it. Since then I have tried out Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid as well. Both are free sites. And frankly I am starting to wonder if the old addage still holds true: you get what you pay for.

OK, here goes. Here is my dating life; the joke that it is. Hopefully soon it will turn into something better. Fingers crossed at least.